Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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