i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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