no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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