Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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