I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
