this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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