Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
