you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
