somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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