my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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