1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
