Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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