You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
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