a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
