i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
