the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Randomize
