I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
