Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Randomize
