He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
