I feel great
I just peed on a car
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Even my vagina gasped.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
