Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
