If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
