You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
