My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
