just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
