I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
