Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
