Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
