Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
