1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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