Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
