I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
