So drunk, too bad you don't want this
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
