i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Send help, water and tortillas.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
