good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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