There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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