he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
