She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I'm like, not good at living.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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