i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
