My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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