You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize
