the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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