Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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