i was born a porn star she said
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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