The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
