I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
