Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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