My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Randomize
