We won't sleep together?
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
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