I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
